pine needles

old crunchy snow
gray and translucent
beaten to a pulp by the
snowboarding shoes
of a thousand bros

their plastic beer cups
sloshing in the beams of a cold mountain sun
their snazzy reflective shades
glistening and hinting towards their arrogance

i walk past and try not to grimace
i don't fit in here
snowboard culture is somethin' else
i get it, sorta
but i feel as though
they've cheapened the snow
they've monetized and corporationized
the mound of snowflakes
that only wants to sit and be stared at

But who am I to judge?
I am just a whimsy artist
with not a sporty bone in my body
so go drink your daytime booze,
go gallop around the forest
and pretend like you understand the trees.

once upon a time

i met this guy at a coffee shop
he was sitting outside with shades on his head
he seemed kind of nice so we started to talk
about music and school and then he said,
"can i get your email?"
I said okay.
I wrote it down right then and there
and then he emailed me right away.

after our discussion he shook my hand and left
he got on his motorocycle and drove off into the sunset
since then he's tried to contact me but i'll never ever respond
want to know why?
cuz his music SUCKS
and I just can't be with someone
like that.


#lamest #poem #ever

Babies

What in the world has happened to Earth?

Every person I know is pregnant with child. 

It's like they have nothing better to do

Than to give birth. 

You know what I think?

I think it's a scam. 

I think this whole baby thing is just kind of a fad. 

I bet you if Facebook had never been born

None of these babies would have been either. 

Ain't that just sad?

But I am just an old cynical man

What do I know? What do I care?

But I tell you, if I see one more Instagram

Of a baby, I'm going to scream, I swear. 

Brains

Pudding, puddles, sponges and cake

Frosting, boils, and milk shakes

Puffy clouds, that are light and airy

My brain sometimes feels like all things dairy

My thought are quick, my stares are deep

Catching myself when people look back at me

I promise I'm not creepy, I promise I'm not rude

It's just that sometimes my brain is the one that's misunderstood

i'm hungry

pickled fragrance pushing towards
an open space of heathered green
slowly creeps the daybreak's chords
into the eyes of an angsty teen

A smothered waffle fell into the gutter,
much to the chagrin of a doting chef.
"Oh, look how I wasted all of that butter!
Now how am I s'posed to clean up this mess?"

"Pick me up! Pick me up!" the waffle was screaming,
"The ten-second rule doth apply to my case!"
The chef blinked his eyes, for he thought he was dreaming.
How could a baked good put him in his place?

"Oh well," the chef shrugged, "He's probably right."
So he bent down and picked up the soggy ol' thing
"Wow, this is disgusting. So long, appetite."
And he threw it, with all his might, into the sea.

Sparkling Snapea Crisps

Janelle - #2

Confetti is lining the crooks of the sidewalks
Some people are dressed up, some ain't wearin' no socks
I'm sittin' here sipping some cran-apple concentrate
Wishing I had just one reason to celebrate

Feathers and fireworks fill up the sky
What I mean is I think someone just killed a bird
A billow of smoke rises gentle and high
the streets are now silent, no one dare says a word

"Whoop-dee-doo!" shouts the drunkard, as he trips on a fence
His bottle of beer rolls around in the dirt
We're all now making jokes at his sorry expense,
Jokes about how he's not wearing a shirt.

I shrug my ol' shoulders and shuffle on home
Crunching leaves under my thrift-store-bought shoes
The fingernail moon guides this path that I roam
And I wander away, softly singing the blues.

Flow of Conchy

Janelle - #1
My first flow of consciousness poem for this blog.

Speckled and permissive and oil of cardamom
Righteously silent in a tablet of peppermint
Conscious and cockroachy persons surround
The neck of the woods where the body was found

Hi ho, ho hum
teedly dee
tiddly dum
fee fi
fi fo
let's all
eat mo snow

Courageous she bends and she breaks and she bows
and burdens her brain in a brainy-like manner
She's coming to town in a transportable house
But she doesn't have time, even though she's a planner

Hi ho, ho hum
teedly dee
tiddly dum
fee fi
fi fo
let's all
eat no mo